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In the privacy of your own bathroom or bedroom, you feel the need to please yourself sexually. What have you just contemplated? Masturbation. It’s the intentional stimulation of one’s body and genitals to feel pleasure and orgasm. It’s a perfectly normal sexual activity; and many people consider it healthy, too. However, some cultures disapprove of masturbation, and some religious beliefs consider it a sin.

“Males and females masturbate for the same benefits,” says Beverly Whipple, PhD, RN, and professor emeritus at Rutgers University, in New Jersey. “The most significant benefits are that it feels good, helps us learn more about our bodies to communicate to our lovers, and serves as a sexual outlet. Also, with the rise of sexually transmitted diseases, it’s a form of safer sex.”

Different for Girls

Though it’s not proven that everyone masturbates, a large number of guys and girls “walk the dog” or “double click the mouse.” But while many guys are comfortable talking with each other about masturbation, the story changes when girls come into play. For many girls, masturbation seems “bad,” something they should be ashamed to admit they do.

“Some girls don’t masturbate because they think it’s dirty,” says Ashley Fisk, 16, of Spokane, Washington. “There’s this perception that guys get horny and girls really don’t. With masturbation, it’s hard for girls to get past thinking, ’This is bad; this is wrong.’”

Eighteen-year-old Sarah, from St. Louis, Missouri, agrees.

“Society says masturbation is wrong for women, but almost encourages it for men,” she says. “It really makes me mad that there’s such a double standard.”

“Males are encouraged to be sexual and masturbate, but girls are more likely to be seen as ’slutty,’ ’selfish,’ or ’sinful,’ if they do,” explains Konstance McCaffree, Ph.D., associate professor of sexuality education at Widener University, in Chester, Pennsylvania.

“However,” she continues, “girls are supposed to have orgasms and really enjoy sex with a partner. Well, it’s tough to enjoy sex with a partner when you don’t know what feels good or how your body reacts best from sexual touching.”

Know Yourself

Girls and guys experience many of the same benefits from masturbation. It teaches them what feels good. For girls, masturbation can have other physical and emotional benefits. Orgasm can help relieve menstrual cramps. Masturbation also gives girls the outlet to enjoy sexual pleasure without feeling pressured by a partner to perform a certain way. 

"Girls and women spend a lot of time taking care of other people," explains McCaffree. "But with masturbation, we can enjoy learning about what turns us on, what kinds of touches arouse us, and at what tempo or speed. We can learn about ourselves without thinking about a partner's opinions."

Ultimately, masturbation can help young women develop a sense of self-confidence, which helps them make healthy sexual choices. It’s a perfect way for girls to explore or experiment with their own bodies, and learn what they like or dislike. After all, girls, if you don’t please yourselves – who will?

Jenny Bickel, a SEX, ETC. national correspondent from St. Louis, Missouri, contributed to this story.

Editors’ Note: SEX, ETC. asked one of its online health and sexuality experts to reveal the truth behind five popular masturbation myths. SEX, ETC.’s online health and sexuality experts answer more than 1,000 of your questions every month. If you have a question, go to the Ask the Experts section of our Web site. You’ll receive a personal, confidential answer to your question by e-mail within 72 hours. And remember – there are no “dumb” questions when it comes to your sexual health!

Masturbation Myths

Myth: Masturbation is bad

Masturbation is very normal and healthy. It can relieve strong sexual urges without risking pregnancy or disease. And it can teach a person about his or her own sexual responses. Some people masturbate, and others do not - both are normal.

Myth: You're no longer a virgin if you masturbate.

There is no set definition of what makes someone a “virgin,” but most people agree that it typically involves having sex with another person.  Some girls will insert something into the vagina for sexual pleasure, but still consider themselves virgins. A tampon goes into the vagina, too, but most people agree that you don’t lose your virginity by using tampons. So, you’ll need to decide for yourself what makes you a virgin or not.  

Myth: You're hard up if you masturbate.

All people feel sexual urges and sexual tension at one time or another, and masturbation is a great way to relieve those feelings -- without getting a sexual transmitted disease or an unwanted pregnancy. Masturbation is also a way to learn about your body, and give yourself risk-free pleasure, with someone you love -- you!

Myth: Nice girls don't!

Whether or not a girl masturbates is really a personal decision based on her own values and religious beliefs. But girls and women should be able to express themselves sexually in any way that they want. They can feel pleasure in a safe and responsible way, and feel good about it. And nice girls do!

Myth: If you're in a great relationship, you don't need to masturbate.

People who have and don’t have sexual partners masturbate.  The sensations that are created from self-stimulation can be different and unique from sexual stimulation with a partner -- and many people enjoy both expressions of their sexuality.